“God of War: Loki” (1 of 2)

I don’t believe it: “Anything He Wants 3” just hit Amazon’s Top 100 in Kindle Store less than a week after release.

Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #97 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
#2 in Books > Literature & Fiction > Erotica
#2 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Fiction > Erotica
#39 in Books > Romance

Know what this means? You guys deserve a prize!! I’ve been working on this for a couple days, figure now is definitely the time to let you have it. 😀


GOD OF WAR (1 of 2)


Lucas scanned the crowd for familiar faces as the band played behind him, but his contacts were either hiding or hadn’t yet arrived. The venue wasn’t one he’d have normally chosen but at least it was public enough for safety.

He did however notice the moment Jeremiah walked into the room. Lucas forced the sudden bitterness down, taking a sip of wine, but kept an eye on his sibling. Gaspard pulled the larger man quietly aside at the door and, from the minor annoyance that flashed across Jeremiah’s face, Lucas deduced the Frenchman was revealing Lucas’ presence at the gathering. Good to see you too, brother.

“Who is that woman beside him?”

“Why, my dear Anya,” Lucas said, patting the hand looped around his elbow, “jealous now are we?”

The blonde Russian glared at him and muttered something in Russian before lifting her chin. “Not at all,” she answered, the heavy accent giving away her annoyance. “She is a homely little cow, why is he with her?”

Lucas rolled his eyes briefly then turned to study his brother’s escort. The girl was all eyes, staring around the large convention center. Although not the vibrant beauty his brother normally associated with, she had a sweetness and charm he found appealing. He also appreciated the way her curvy figure also filled out the green sleeveless dress. My brother always had good taste, he thought.

A tug on his arm made him look down at Anya in annoyance, but the Russian woman was looking elsewhere. “We have company,” she said, accent melting away.

Lucas followed her gaze to see a familiar stony-faced man, big as a house, making his way through the crowd. “Indeed,” Lucas breathed, then leaned in close to the woman beside him. “My dear,” he murmured to Anya, “I’m going to need a distraction.”

The blonde slanted him a glance. “How distracting?” she asked, following his gaze to the approaching men.

“Use your own discretion,” he murmured, then plastered a smile on his face and threw his arms wide. “Vasili!” he said loudly in welcome as Anya melted away into the crowd. “A pleasure to see you again.”

The stoic Ukrainian was difficult to read at the best of times, his surly expression rarely changing. However when Lucas offered his hand the large man took it, grasping the wrist in a firm grip. “I would not expect you in such a gathering,” he said in a thick accent. The two uniformed men flanking him merely glared; they didn’t offer greetings and Lucas knew better than to ask.

“Yes well, one must learn to blend into even the most foreign conditions.” Lucas didn’t hear anger in the other man’s voice but kept his guard up nevertheless. The smiling mask had long since become second nature, a shield against those searching for weakness, and it served him well here. “A surprise to see you here as well, how can I help you gentlemen?”

Vasili gestured to the two men behind him. “My associates share common business interests.”I told them you may have interest.”

“Ah.” Lucas’ smile never dimmed but inwardly he went still. Not the right venue for talking business at all. Lucas was probably safest here given the crowds, at least for the moment. Of course, the moment he stepped outside those doors he had a target painted on his head. Placating his clients was always so much safer.

“We have been told you can find certain pieces of hardware not currently on the open market.” The black man stepped forward until he was nose to nose with Lucas. “We are interested in purchase, but require complete discretion.”

If the African was trying to be intimidating, he obviously didn’t know Lucas very well. “What can I say, I’m indeed a modern day Aries. I do not however work for just anyone,” he added, giving the African a quick once over. “What can you offer me for my services? Hopefully more than your homespun clothing would suggest. My God man, do you bathe?”

The man’s face grew dark and he took a threatening step forward only to be stopped by the broad arm of Vasili. The black man shot him an irritated look which Vasili returned, staring down the smaller man until he relented and stepped back again. “Their money is good,” the Ukranian rumbled, addressing Lucas without looking at him.

The casual nonchalance Lucas affected through the confrontation did not reflect the roiling emotions inside, and he breathed easier when Vasili stepped back. The large man could be a deadly enemy but also a powerful ally, and for today at least he was on Lucas’ side. “Alright then,” he said brightly, clapping his hands together. “Discussion of the details would perhaps be best in a different venue, perhaps we could…”

Lucas trailed off as Anya approached, and when he saw her companion his eyes lit up. The Russian woman had been unpredictable as of late but it seemed, in this at least, they were on the same page. “Gentlemen, if you’ll please excuse me. We can discuss our business further tomorrow.”

The uniformed African didn’t seem keen to put off their discussion but another minor intervention as vassili clapped a large hand on the black man’s shoulder stopped him from speaking. Satisfied the matter was resolved until later, Lucas turned his attention to the two women while the trio of men faded into the crowd. Jeremiah’s escort looked stunned, staring at Lucas and making him wonder what exactly Anya had told her. “And who do we have here?” he asked, lifting the woman’s hand to his lips.

Her lips parted ever so slightly and Lucas smiled wickedly, recognizing her response to him. Up close he could see that, while not a flawless beauty like Anya, there was an innocence that drew him like a moth to flame. He watched with some amusement as she realized her own reaction and, frowning, snatched her hand away. The tart response only made his smile grow. Feisty, isn’t she?

“This is Lucy Delacourt, the new assistant to Jeremiah,” Anya replied, then sidled to Lucas’ side and wormed her arm through his. “Meet Lucas Hamilton, the true heir to the Hamilton business.”

Lucas stifled his annoyance at the extended introduction, keeping his face smooth. Anya clung like a vine, her possessive grip an irritation. The girl Lucy stared at them, suspicion in her eyes. Cocking his head to the side, Lucas studied Lucy. “You seem tense, love,” he said in a smooth voice. “I don’t want any beautiful woman such as yourself disappointed by my company.”

Beside him, Anya’s fingernails dug into his arm, hard but not yet painful. Her obvious jealousy irritated Lucas but that didn’t stop him from goading her. Somewhere along the line, baiting the beautiful Russian woman had become a game to Lucas; her neediness was annoying but she’d proven useful enough to keep around. Part of him sometimes wondered though if her presence was worth it any longer.

“I thought you were someone else,” Lucy said stiffly. “If you’ll excuse me…”

As she stepped back to leave, the band behind them struck up a new tune, a livelier number that had several couples walking to the dance floor. An idea occurred to Lucas and he shook off Anya’s persistent grip on his arm to step forward. “Would you care to dance?” he asked, holding out a hand toward Lucy.

Anya had something to say about the offer, an ugly expression on her face. A sharp look by Lucas kept her silent however; she stopped, simmering in place as she glared at Lucy.

“No, I’m sorry,” I said stiffly, trying to maintain my poise, “but I really need to find my…”

“Really, I must insist.” Lucas drew a hand around her waist, and pulled her quickly out onto the floor. She balked immediately, digging in her heels.

Hmm. Lucas leaned in close and murmured, “We’re quite visible here, you don’t want to cause a scene now, do you?”

The effect was instantaneous; Lucas had more than enough time to pull her to the dance floor and into his arms before she recovered. Wide, angry eyes glared up at him and Lucas smiled back with a self-satisfied smirk. Score one for me.

“Let me go,” Lucy said in a low voice, anger bleeding into her voice.

“And ruin a perfectly fine opportunity to dance with a beautiful woman? I think not.” Her resistance amused him; she danced stiffly in his arms, trying repeatedly to step on his toes. He pulled her close to his body, supporting her almost entirely with his arms. “We seem to have gotten off on the wrong foot,” he said, sweeping her across the dance floor. “Tell me why: do I smell bad?”

The absurd comment had the desired effect and she smiled, albeit only for a quick second before annoyance took its place once again. “I don’t appreciate watching my friends get belittled, then being dragged to meet someone under false pretenses.”

My my, Anya was busy. Lucas tipped his head to the side, acknowledging her blunt comments. “Anya can be, hm, tempestuous – indeed, it was once part of her charm. Perhaps we can start again: I am Lucas Hamilton and you are…”

“You know who I am already.”

It was a refreshing change to meet somebody who wasn’t interested in trying to impress him. Lucas slid a finger under her chin, lifted her head to see her eyes. “But I’d like to hear it from your lips,” he said softly.

Her pupils dilated, lips parting again. This time Lucas felt his own body respond, dick jumping and a rush of heat flowing through his body. Well well, he thought, this makes things interesting again.

Lucy scowled. “What do you want?” she demanded.

“Besides dance with a beautiful woman?” Lucas hitched one shoulder. “To make my stick-in-the-mud little brother jealous.”

Her lips thinned. “I’m not interested in playing games, Mr. Hamilton.” She struggled slightly in his grip, jostling a nearby couple. “I’d rather not “make a scene”, but if you won’t let me…”

“What if I answered any questions you might have about my brother?” At her startled look, Lucas gave a wry smile. “My brother is one who keeps his secrets close.” He swayed Lucy closer, mouth dipping close to her ear. “Aren’t there some things about your boss you were dying to know?”

One look at her expression told him everything he needed to know: he had her. Annoyance flashed across her brow and Lucas smirked. He dipped his head when she wasn’t looking and breathed deep. God, she smelled good. The thought had his dick stirring again.

“Anya used to work for Mr. Hamilton? Um,” she added, stuttering, “the other one. My boss.”

She really was adorable when flustered, and Lucas’ smile grew. “She was his last personal assistant,” he drawled,

“That harpy?” Lucy muttered, her expression stormy. “What did he see in her?”

The response was so unexpected that Lucas threw back his head and laughed. Her startled expression said she hadn’t meant to say the words aloud, which only made it more amusing. “She wasn’t always this way,” he said, humor lacing his voice. “Actually, she used to be a very sweet girl, much like yourself.”

“What happened, then?”

She met me. The thought dimmed his amusement somewhat and Lucas lifted a shoulder. “I seduced her away from him, then turned her into my spy. When he discovered this and threw her out, she came to work for me.”

She struggled at his words, obviously disliking the truthful if cold response. Instead of releasing her however he twirled the small blonde under his arm before pulling her back into his arms. She moved stiffly, obviously angry at his words, and he tried not to care. “Next question?”

She scanned the room, probably looking for a means to escape, then seemed to resign herself to her date. “What did Anya mean about the “rightful heir” business? You and Jeremiah are brothers right?”

“Ah, straight to the heart of things.” He twirled her again, wondering how much to tell her. “What do you know so far?”

“The Wikipedia version. He was in the military, got out and took over the company, had a rough go in the beginning.”

Lucas dipped his head. “A decent summary, if lacking in the pertinent details. Tell me, how was your relationship with your father growing up?”

Her mouth tightened at the personal question. “Good,” She replied cautiously, “why?”

“Ours wasn’t.” Lucas’s expression shadowed. “Rufus Hamilton was impossible to please, especially if you were in any way related to him. Of course, we didn’t realize this until we were much older and his demands had already warped our sensibilities. I’ll give you the short version: I went the route expected of me, to take over the family business, while Remi rebelled the only way he knew how and joined the military without my father’s consent. It was the one time he managed to thwart our father’s plans, and that success ate away at the old man.”

Memories flooded back, each one more bitter than the other. “Why couldn’t you be more like your brother, only a freshman and already team captain.” The bitter jealousy, forced rivalries – there had never been a moment he wasn’t fighting for the old man’s approval, usually in the shadow of his younger brother.

“Obviously something happened.”

Lucas snorted. “Yeah. The old man died.” He twirled her again, trying to figure out how to explain it without sounding like a whining bitch. “Rufus really couldn’t have timed it better if he’d tried; heart attack took him out in the middle of a board meeting, and only days before Jeremiah was set to re-enlist. I was surprised when he turned up at the reading of the Will, but more shocked when our beloved father left the bulk of his estate to his youngest son.”

The memory was a bitter gall. I spent years running that business while My little brother ran around playing commando. “Jeremiah got everything, including majority shares in the company, with the stipulation that if he refused to take over, the entire company would be liquidated and scattered. That would have meant the loss of thousands of jobs, and the collapse of a carefully built infrastructure spanning decades, all to get back at the son who had managed to outmaneuver him.”

“So willing Jeremiah the entire company was meant a punishment?”

Her voice finally jolted Lucas out of his memories. The dark emotions continued to boil inside him but his expression was replaced by a smirk that was his default mask. “Our dear Remi was always looking out for the common man,” Lucas remarked blithely. “It’s why he joined the Army, you know, wanted to help others. So, when the executor read the will, lawyers and board members surrounded Remi, impressing on him the gravity of the situation, how many lives he would ruined if he turned it down, etc. etc. Given my little brother’s predilection for being the hero, it was a no-brainer what he would choose.”

“What about you?”

“I survived.” The concern in her voice was sweet but misplaced. His gaze travelled over her shoulder, and a wicked smile curved his lips as the song came to an end. “Doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy my bits of fun when they come along.”

Lucy squeaked as he shifted her around, one arm looping behind her back, then bent the blonde over backwards. She stared wide-eyed up at his face, and Lucas winked. “Let’s give them a show, shall we?” he murmured, then leaned forward and took her lips.

She stiffened, fingers digging into his dark suit. His mouth took full advantage of her shock, tongue and teeth playing with a full bottom lip. The kiss was brief and, as he pulled then back upright, Lucy’s hand cracked along his cheek, momentum giving the slap strength.

The blow stunned Lucas; he blinked at the girl in his arms, who looked as shocked as he felt. Well, he thought, a kernel of respect taking root, that was unexpected.

“What’s going on here?”

One of those in-between posts

Wouldn’t it be awesome if I had cool to say or show you? Well, it’s coming, I promise. :)

In the meantime, a list of things I’m currently up to in no particular order:

– getting my hair cut (but not cut off; maybe later [hears Dude in background yelling “NOOOO!!!”])
– riding my motorcycle (because it’s teh awezum!!!)
– totally digging this blog post “I’m not like other girls”
– spent much of today working on various snippets of the AHW series, including the promised Jeremiah-mirror and a bit for Lucas/Loki. Yes folks, I have love for both brothers – I’m not alone in that am I?
– cleaned house. Proof positive I’m procrastinating in writing. *sigh*
– catching up on a webcomic I’d forgotten the name to and only recently re-found. Happy sounds!
– also recommending Girl Genius webcomic because, yeah, it’s the awesomesauce!
– thinking of fun ways to introduce or tell more about AHW side characters; snippets and possibly “interviews” coming soon, any ideas on more?
– so many writing ideas, so little time in the day.

That’s my Monday in a nutshell! Well, aside from the Evil Day Job and lunch with the Dude and the fact that I’m almost 3 hours past my bedtime. And it’s not even Monday over on the east coast or Europe. *blinks* Wow, I’m all rambly, perhaps I should get to bed. Night folks!!

New arrival: “Anything He Wants 3: Love and War”

Woohoo, it’s finally all online! The third story in the Anything He Wants series is now live at Amazon and AllRomance!! The series takes a new turn with the arrival of another Hamilton man and an ending that’ll leave you desperate for more:

The glittering life of the ultra-rich is overwhelming, and more than a little treacherous. Serving as the date/escort to a charity gala in Paris, France, one-time temp Lucy Delacourt must learn to navigate the turbulent waters in which her billionaire boss Jeremiah Hamilton swims. Easier said than done — Jeremiah is keeping secrets, including a deeply possessive streak that comes out when Lucy is introduced to his enigmatic brother, Lucas. Caught in their little family war, it is Lucy’s own personal discovery that she might be forming an attachment to her hard boss that really rocks her world.

But some secrets held by the Hamilton men are more dangerous than others, and Lucy may have stumbled into a trap meant for another with potentially deadly consequences.
Length: approx. 13,100 words.

Amazon US | Amazon UK | AllRomance

I’m really excited about this part because it introduces another character I’ve been dying to write as well as begins the actual PLOT of the story! I’m already working on part 4 of the series and can tell you it’s going to be LOOOONG compared to these first three stories!

Hope you enjoy!! Let me know what you think. 😀

Apologies and announcements

Well. *scratches head in wonder* The last few days have been one heck of a roller coaster. Those on Twitter and, to a much smaller extent, Facebook saw the progression of “Anything He Wants” through the 100s and up into the double digit Amazon ranks. Which is to say, absolutely incredible.

No, I mean it. You guys are incredible. Incredible, awesome and fantabulous.

So the mirror is a go. AHW1 retold through Jeremiah’s stony gaze, to be made available free here on the website and on All Romance Ebooks, and hopefully Amazon (that may take a little while however).


Before I get to the announcements portion of this, I want to apologize for not getting the next part of my series out faster. The last month has been one heck of a rush – never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined my story would get this kind of response. I’m humbled, overjoyed, and for a long while petrified I’d do or say something to destroy it. (yes, silly artistic insecurities rear their ugly heads *rolls eyes*) Writing, therefore, suffered a bit but I’m fortunately back on the wagon and will try to keep up the pace from here on out.


Which leads me to my next Big Thing: “Anything He Wants 3: Love And War” is finally drafted!! AAAAND, I have a release date: Thursday, June 21 – aka, next week. It should give me enough time to do my own edits, send it to my lovely editor Delta, a couple beta readers for proofing, and have it out in time for the weekend. 😀 I’m really excited about this part but am staying mum on why for a few more days until I release the blurb. Yes, I am evil. Bwahahaha!!!!

Cover reveal and announcements

I totally meant to post this yesterday but, ugh, got sidetracked. My Twitter peeps (Tweeps!) saw this first so if you want to keep most up-to-date, that’s where I hang out most often.

My friend and fellow erotica writer AD Cooper made the cover for “Anything He Wants 3: Love and War”, and I couldn’t be happier with the results!

She kept with the themes of the previous stories but upped the sexy factor. I’m pretty thrilled with the results, what do you all think? 😉


To my All Romance peeps, you may (or may not) have noticed AHW2 is alone on the ARe website. AHW1 is currently exclusive through Amazon in order to provide some promo opportunities, but all sequels will still be made available through ARe. As soon as the Amazo-exclusive promo is done I’ll be re-adding AHW1 to the AllRomance website and hopefully we can get it back into the site’s top 10 (it was sitting pretty at #2!).


I’ve received a lot of feedback regarding the drive to get Anything He Wants into the Amazon Top 100. I originally said one scene will be rewritten in Jeremiah’s POV, but a lot of you are asking I do the entire story instead of a scene. Genius people, pure genius. We’re slipping a bit in the ranks however; since individual sales are what drive this, it’s time to do some leg work!! Any thoughts on how to get this story out to the masses?

A rolling stone gathers no moss

Despite the fact that I promised myself I’d keep up with this blog, I’m a wee bit behind on updates. Twitter stays fairly up to date, but for whatever reason writing a blog is tough cookies. *rolls eyes* Does this mean I haven’t been busy, or that there’s nothing going on behind the scenes?

Heck no!

A few highlights of what Casa de Fawkes has been up to these last couple weeks (for those of you who follow me on Twitter, this is a recap of what you may have already seen):

Meet Gypsy, my newest acquisition!! She represents the freedom I hope to soon have, and is much to blame for my lack of productivity over the last two weeks. All I want to do is ride her, or if not then look at her. She’s a sexy beast!


Dude and I went down to Long Beach for a motorcycle swap meet. Didn’t see much in the way of parts like he was hoping but saw some sweet bikes!

Dream bike!

The itty-bitty moped committee!

Biggest rust bucket I’ve ever seen, leaked oil out of every crevice. So cool though!

The dealership must have had a huge sale on tassels! 😉


The unofficial contest is still on to get “Anything He Wants” into the Amazon top 100. Originally the prize was a single scene from AHW retold through Jeremiah’s (the hero) perspective, but a lot of people have asked if I could instead do a retelling of the entire story. I don’t see a problem with that! Once we get to that point however it’ll be up to you all – I’ll even do a poll! Polls are love (unless they’re for politicians).


I’m hard at work on the next book in the Anything He Wants series; after so long feeling as though my Muse had disappeared, over the last few days the thrill is back. Words are flowing from my fingertips, flying across the page (or iPhone, depending on if I’m at my laptop or elsewhere) and I’m hopeful a first draft will FINALLY be done within the next week or so. I also have other news, but will save that for a separate post all its own. 😉

Journey to the Amazon Top 100

This morning another erotica writer friend Virginia Wade mentioned to me via Twitter that I had crept below a 500 rank overall in the Paid Kindle Store at Amazon.

Cue my stunned look of disbelief.

For those who don’t know, Amazon assigns a rank on all books based on where they are in comparison to other books. Kind of like when you got second place in the spelling bee out of forty other students. What the above means is that, of the millions of ebooks at Amazon.com, I’m in the top 500.

I only have YOU ALL to thank for it!! Talk about making one’s day – no, week, month even!!!

So, here’s what I’m thinking: at the moment I’m steadily creeping up the charts, but I’d like to give an incentive to my readers and prospective readers. What I propose is that, should I break #100 rank, I’ll write any section of the story “Anything He Wants” in my hero’s perspective. As in, I’ll redo the whole elevator scene from Jeremiah’s perspective, OR I’ll do a prequel where he notices the heroine.

Any scene you want. YOU DECIDE THE SECTION. Get your friends to read the first story, and you’ll get a special bonus chapter.

Meanwhile I’m hard at work on the next segment of the story which has a couple areas that would fit quite nicely in this little “contest”.

Does that sound like a deal? 😉

Sickness sucks (and other procrastination excuses)

It’s been a while since I posted here, mainly because I’ve been 1) trying to get over bronchitis (still have a nasty cough), and 2) the interwebz have been down at the house until yesterday (keeping my fingers crossed it STAYS on this time). I’ve been keeping busy dosing myself with over-the-counter cough meds and sleeping so it’s been an incredibly fun last two weeks!! 😐

We did have some fun this weekend though, being in the lucky path of a solar eclipse. Dude took out the dark plastic bit from his welding helmet and we watched it directly. I did try to get some halfway decent shots but no luck, even with the dark shield I still only got glare. :( We did get a couple other interesting shots, I just need to load them on Photobucket.


After an unfortunate series of dismal writing days, I’m finally back in the chair and working on AHW3. I’ve been excited to get to this part since I first envisioned the series but for whatever reason, despite the fact it’s planned out, the writing process itself has been like pulling teeth. *sigh* Sometimes a story or section is like that and, while progress has been slower than I’d prefer, it HAS been steady so I’m thankful for that. I promise however that the minute I’m finished, you beautiful people will be the first to know!! :)

Finally, I’d like to leave you with a video clip of Neil Gaiman (my authorial hero) giving a college commencement speech. Some of his words really hit home as an artist/writer myself so, as I know there are a few writers and artsy folk who frequent this humble blog, I thought I’d share the love.

(Hmm, can’t get this to embed so here’s the link: http://player.vimeo.com/video/42372767?color=ffffff )

Mother’s Day and breaking barriers

I had a really nice Mother’s Day with the parental units on both sides (mine and the Dude’s). My folks drove down to my grandparents’ house then we had a small family dinner before rushing to another dinner/barbecue over at the Dude’s grandparents’ house. It was good times but I ate too much and am paying for that today.

Mondays are, as usual, tough to stomach but I made it to the Evil Day Job, bleary-eyed and wishing desperately for an extra hour or four of rest. No such luck, but a girl can dream. 😉


I had a bit of a (happy) shock over the weekend when I saw “Anything He Wants” cracked the invisible 1,000 rank barrier, now just once but repeatedly. To be clear: that means that at certain points, I was in the top 1,000 books in the entire Kindle Store on Amazon – it even got me into the Top 10 of Erotica Bestsellers.

So what does this mean? Remember I said I was working on a novella? That’s now been moved to the backburner as I hurry to write part 3 of the AHW series. It’s going to be close as I have an editor deadline for the novella, but I don’t want to disappoint fans of the series so part 3 is back atop my Must Write Next list. Considering I’ve had this part in mind since I conceived the series and am really excited about it, the switch doesn’t bother me in the slightest. 😀

For now though I’m going to endure the day job, tap our a few words on my breaks, and look forward to dinner tonight with my mom and grandma. Fun times!! 😉

Evil Day Jobs doth be evil

I crack myself up sometimes.


In other news, I’m writing like mad except *braces herself for stones* it’s a new Super Sekrit Project. I needed a palate cleanser between parts of AHW and this idea grabbed me and won’t let go. Interestingly enough it was amazingly easy (and fun) to outline, plus it helped me figure out what I needed with AHW3 for it to work. I’ve even got an actual editor lined up to make it work it’s very best (trust me, she’s good). So, work on one or the other…

Now if only my internet would stop being a wonky piece of, er, fluff… :(


At some point in my busy schedule I need to find time to clean house. The Parental Units are arriving on Sunday to do their monthly inspections visit for Mother’s Day and, given the last time they saw my house you could have eaten off the floors, I have some catching up to do. Egads, eek, and omg, etc etc.